Oh my goodly goodness! This is the 100th post! Not exactly the 100th week, because I don't in fact update this every single week, but the 100th post!!! The 100th MP3!!! THE 100TH CELEBRATION OF MEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee(eeeeeee.) Well anyway, it took me a while to figure out what song should go here, but this one hits all the right notes with me. You might say it strikes a CHORD. You MIGHT SAY... So this is from my very first show. August 18th, 2002, Sidewalk Cafe, and my God, this was like 12 years ago. Wow. Well the reason I chose this MP3 is because this was kind of the moment for me on stage that I felt like I found my voice, and that it was working, and that people were enjoying it. This was the last song of the night, and a lot of the other songs were pretty rough. A lot of mistakes, a lot of reject songs that no one has heard since, a lot of bad rhythm and awkwardness. But this song is so simple, there's just no way I could have screwed it up. So I am both extra relaxed in this recording but also full of happiness and confidence at completing my very first show, which I had been unbelievably nervous about for like several weeks leading up to it. This MP3 also has one of my all time favorite off-the-cuff stage moment. The wonderful sound person woman there at the time threw on a giant dose of reverb during my very bad whistle solo. But she accidentally left it on as I sang the next line. She turned it off super fast and me and the audience kind of laugh at the weirdness of it. But then I improvised a lyric change - "we should go someplace where there isn't...so much reverb" (instead of "where there isn't so much stress."), and MAN...The big laugh and applause from the audience just made my night. I knew I wanted to keep playing shows. Not to mention the laughs at other lines, and the laugh after "THE CALM, CALM SEA" part! So yeah, this is a special one for me, on several levels. Hope you enjoy it both musically and also as an interesting historical document. OH...I didn't even talk about the song I guess? I explain it at the start of the MP3, but it's basically from the POV of a guy who's girlfriend is screaming at him, and he's trying to calm her down. The joke of the song is that there's an implication that the guy is a jerk and she's completely justified in yelling at him, but he's painting her as a raving lunatic. Is that funny? I think so. Check out the lyrics, then download the song! And would you like to settle down for a while? And would you like to settle down for a while? You act like all those other people that I hate Not enough like who I like Normal people don't pretend to get mad all the time Normal people don't like to fight chorus Tomorrow maybe you'll realize how crazy you were Today well come to think of it Yesterday you acted just the same or even worse and Now you're acting ignorant chorus And would you like to take a breath and nod your head like you were on a ship at sea THE CALM, CALM SEA!!!!! ::whistle solo:: We should go someplace where there isn't so much stress It would be nothing like this We should go and then your hair won't be in such a mess Or my hands on your wrists And would you like to settle down for a while? DOWNLOAD THE SONG BY RIGHT CLICKING HERE! Or listen to it here!
I took a break from this blog for-reasons-that-are-known-to-me-and-me-alone, BUT NOW I'M BACK. Let's start things with a BOO.
This week's MP3 is a really nice soundboard recording of my band Trouble's Afoot (currently in need of a drummer) performing my song "Halloween", at the Sidewalk Cafe in August 2009.
Once you've listened to that (or don't listen to it, what do I care?), you can see how AWESOMED UP it got once I brought it to my band. Dave's bass is crazy during the "party freak out" section, the drums are completely loose and fun and somehow holding this Frankenstein song together, and my guitar is...well, it's doing it's job. By which I mean ROCKING. HARD. REAL HARD. AND TOUGH.
Mostly because the amp at the Sidewalk Cafe only had one setting -- "ROCKING HARD AND TOUGH", which made the song sound a bit odd, but I like it.
This was always a song I considered a b-side, a little oddity nobody would ever hear. But my drummer LOVED it, and the more we practiced it the more we realized how much more interesting it made our show. All year round, not just in the Fall. I gotta write more like these.
This week's MP3 is a live recording of a rare piano song, called "Honest Guy." It may be better if I don't ramble on about what it's about. Here are the lyrics:
The thing to know Is I won't go I've been mean I've been obscene
I'd like to say How I've done wrong But you won't let Me on your lawn
I've carried so so much pain I let it out It looks insane
Well I've lived here All my life I've always been an honest guy
I've never been an honest guy So of course I was put on trial
The thing to know Is I won't go This is my home This is my home.
I really like this song. I should make a nice recording of it one day. But until then, this is from a 2005 performance at the Sidewalk Cafe on Avenue A.
This week's song is from a live show I had a month ago! I explain the origin of the song to the audience in the MP3, so need to ramble over here! All you need to know is I handed out a list of songs, so that the audience can make request. That's what you hear at the very beginning of the MP3.
It's a happy loving marriage song. It also contains one of my only guitar solos. Enjoy!
Here are the lyrics, why not?
Here we are laughing at the same joke Half an hour and it's time for the next show For everyone who says that boring lives have no surprises, well I've got one
Will you marry me so we can go to sleep? Will you marry me so we can watch TV? I've spent too much time by myself doing things that never add to much I'm one, you're two, and we'll be pooped together
For a time I didn't go out much I met you and we don't go out much (but it's nice) For every dollar bill I save by staying home for dinner We get thinner
(chorus)
Counting down bringing in the new year All around it's been a pretty good year A simple resolution is easier to keep And I'd like to keep you - keep you here
This week's mp3 is from December 10th, 2002. It is a very rare (and the only) live performance of a song called "Posters (Tear Them Down)."
This song, along with several others, was written as a kind of fake "punk" song, when me and my friend Daniel were set to perform at a punk show and needed some tunes. Daniel described the songs we wrote as "songs for teenagers." Other songs written that week include TV Girl, I Want My CDs back, and Movie Set Girl. These will most likely pop up on this blog soon enough!
So this song was about wanting to tear down the posters in your wall as an obvious metaphor for hating yourself and wanting to change your identity. I actually really like this song. It's in another confusing subdivision of songs that aren't exactly sincere attempts at writing a song but still come out to my liking, magically turning into a real song in the process. Here are the lyrics:
I'm sick of being used to all the posters in my room but i'm just too lazy to take them down
All the posters on four walls with their colors loud and all sing me a sad song in stereo sound
I'll tear them down Let the scotchtape rip off the wallpaper Then put up some more To cover up the scars
There goes the one with the cartoon face Smiling at me, taking up space Now I'm Glad it's in the trash bag, buried alive
There goes the picture from the magazine Years ago it wad added to the scene Now I can finally see what's on the other side
chorus
These posters from the past have been up for way too long I'd rather not stare at the squares that desecrate my wall I'd rather stare at nothing at all.
All these posters in my room seems like they've been up for a century or two Now I know exactly what I have to do
Still no luck on the tooth front. Oh well. On to other things:
This week's mp3 is fucking crazy!
Basically, me and my friend Matt, as our weird on again off again comedy band "Special Friends", played the Sidewalk Cafe open mic in 2002. It was packed. I went on stage and said I found a man named "Mr. Supper" to play a song with me, and we did our amazing song "Funky Frankfurters." Matt Koff on lead vocals, and me on guitar. These are the lyrics:
Hey bitch, don't touch my franks They're mine, not yours Hey bitch if you touch my franks I'll show you the door
DON'T TOUCH MY FRANKS (FUNK FUNK FUNKY FRANKFURTERS) DON'T TOUCH MY FRANKS (FUNK FUNK FUNKY FRANKFURTERS)
You get the idea. Matt went up there with a big wooden spoon and banged in a pot. It was pretty fun, and you could hear how much fun we were having up there. The audience seemed to HATE US. And we weren't sure why. Our main goal was to be as energetic and fun as possible at a really low key and slow open mic. Everyone sitting there looked angry at us.
We found out later there was some mix up, and Moldy Peaches' girl Kimya Dawson was announced to go on, but for some reason we went up instead (we don't know if it was our mix up or someone else's mix up), and I think people were angry they had to wait 3 minutes to see Kimya Dawson. You can hear in the mp3, the open mic MC says, "right now let's welcome Kimya, FINALLY, to the stage." Some people in the audience gave us a good cheer but if you were there you would have felt the bad vibes.
I left some of her performance on the mp3 to show what people wanted to hear instead of us.
On another note, a guy came up to us after and said he thought it would have been a funnier song if we sang "hey bitch don't touch my FRIENDS, they're mine, not yours." But that's completely missing the whole point. We think it is a lot funnier for a weird character to be angry and overprotective of his frankfurters, rather than a dumb misogynist song about some girl fucking your friends.
Keeping the theme of songs-I've-only-played-live-once going, and keeping with the theme of life being horrible, here is an mp3 of a song I wrote called "In The Dumps."
This is definitely a rare one...I only played it once, and at this show (Sidewalk Cafe, 2005) only 4 of my friends showed up. Something you'll hear at this legendary show is that there was a big group of people talking really loud, right under the stage. They were destroying my self esteem for the first half of the set, and you can hear in my voice how blown away I was by people being so rude, most notably in the beginning of the mp3 : "Next song is called 'In The Dumps'....yeah....GRRRRR"
I sound so exhausted and defeated because of those people. And the "GRRRR" was directed at them. Maybe next week I'll post the song I made up on the spot about them.
So anyway, this song is pretty simple and basically from the point of view of someone dumping someone. Like many of my songs, it's inspired by stomach sickness and nervousness. Here are the lyrics, which in my opinion are just...OK. The song is more about the rhythm and intensity in the music and singing, that's for sure.
Hey hey, I don't know what They say, but I know that You and I are out of luck For once I'm not stupid You must not believe it I know how these things end up
In the dumps, out the door Under carpets on the floor Don't think we're growing we've stopped. And I'm not going to pick you up.
Last time that we met up Got sick, almost threw up I lied, said it was the food I just get so nervous Don't know how to do this Don't know how to say we're through
(Chorus)
Sorry sorry sorry I can't give advice Sorry sorry sorry I can't paint it nice Sorry sorry sorry I'm sorry sorry sorry tonight
Next time you'll do better Meet someone who's nicer You'll have oh so much to say Tell me now you're happy Tell me you were crazy To be with someone like me OH YOU KNOW RIGHT NOW WE'RE
(chorus)
And I'm not going to pick you up from work.
That's a lot of "sorry"s in one song.
My relationship was doing OK when I wrote that song, but I think I was picking up on signals from my girlfriend and maybe wrote this song from her point of view. I wrote a lot of songs about her breaking up with me in the last few months of our relationship, yet if you were to ask me I would have honestly said we were doing great. Very subconscious, all of this stuff.
This week's mp3 is a crazy old song, recorded live at the Sidewalk Cafe open mic in the late late hours of the night, back in 2002. It must have been 1 AM, and I think there were 4 people there.
The song was basically about this girl I liked who said she'd call me back, but never did. Here are the lyrics:
What the hell do I do now? I've had enough of this stuff I can't try to figure you out I'm not intact, you're abstract, it's
Not too fair that I'm in the air and I Can't deny that you are unbearably great
Months go by and not a sound Just think out loud, you're to proud It's another singing clown Fucked around, it's astound...ING
I can see you're not meant for me but if You can show some decency I'll be Free to believe that things can happen to me
What the hell do I do now? I'm waiting for a phone call Where the hell do I go now? If I go I might miss the phone call It's not a good thing thatI'm not hearing that Stupid phone ring andIt's amazing that I can sleep so late Wake up even later To an alarm clock playing that song I hate her
What the hell do I do now? I'm waiting for a window To turn bright redIn my head... It's simple.
Upon typing those lyrics I think the off phrasing throughout the song is kind of neat -- lines end with what should be the first word of the next verse. It's consistent through the whole song! That's cool. I don't remember planning that.
This is the only recorded live performance of this song, which I like a lot but is maybe more whiny and defeatist than usual, which may be hard to believe. Still I like the end, because I still don't know what it means. And I like the "it's another singing clown" line, because after being at an open mic where everyone is whining, that's really how it felt.
You'll hear singer songwriter Lach on this mp3, who hosted the open mic for many years. He, charmingly, liked to pop in on the song, with vocals, telephone ring sounds, and hand claps. His intense "OH MY GOD" after the performance definitely strokes my ego. It was fun stuff. Then he introduces my friend Dave Fox up to the mic. Weird.
Jumpin' Jesus the weeks are going by fast! This is freaking me out! I feel like I just posted "Folky Song" yesterday.
This week's song is "Stumped", a live performance from September 3rd, 2004, at the Sidewalk Cafe in NYC. This was a "new songs" show, where I only played...new songs. If we do the math (math is fun!), this places the song about 18 months into my relationship, where the problems were really starting to weigh me down. It's a purposefully minimalist song about not knowing WHAT THE HELL to do when your girlfriend seems mysteriously upset all the time. You blame yourself ("are things that bad?"), you try to distract her ("it's time for a movie, then you won't be sad"), you HATE yourself ("why am I stupid?") and you even get angry at her ("why can't you feel good?") Ultimately, it leaves you very very tired ("we should just got to sleep"), and...stumped.
This was kind of a potentially dangerous song to play at a live show in front of her, but I think she was absent at this particular show. I would have played it anyway. I think it's healthy to confront these things, with honesty and humor. Especially in front of lots of people who clap after you do it!
Woooo doggy! Here we go. This week's mp3 is a live solo performance of "Back Of Your Mind." This is from January 24th, 2006, at the Sidewalk Cafe in NYC. I quite enjoyed this particular performance.
This is a fun, short, but special song for me. It was based on a time I asked a girl out, she said yes, then brought her boyfriend along on the "date." It was a whole new shade of uncomfortable. So I wrote this song, the idea being that I'm saying how horrible and cruel her boyfriend is when I don't even know the guy, and for her to call me up when he dumps her. One of my many (many many many) lovingly misogynist songs where I care deeply for a girl for the wrong reasons.
THEN SHE DID CALL ME. Over a year later! She called me out of the blue one day, the first thing out of her mouth being "I dumped my boyfriend," and we had a date. It didn't work out, for reasons I won't go into here, but...the song actually worked! I stayed in the back of her mind!
